It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.......

I’ll start by asking a simple question…why do we do stupid things, intentionally?

Which brings me to the point of this blog, a question that hit me like a ton of bricks this afternoon….how many times must we lose love in order to hold onto it the next time it comes around?

I find myself very frustrated, mostly with myself for having a good thing, a few times and letting it walk away. A few times I even pushed it away only to beg for it back later. What I didn’t realize then is that they don’t always come back.
Today I was preparing for a meeting, going through old pictures looking for some photos to put in the slideshow at our upcoming event and found pictures I had kept since high school. They were hilarious, I looked so fragile. I also found tons of pictures from college. I miss date parties so much! Ha Ha We always had so much fun. As I’m opening picture envelopes I become more and more curious with each envelope I open wondering what would be in the next. I open and envelope and there on the top, the first picture is a bouquet of flowers with a balloon that says “happy anniversary.” Suddenly, I’m overwhelmed with emotion… I thought all of these pictures had gone away but there they were staring right at me….

(Here comes the stupid part)

Instead of closing the photo booklet, I kept looking through it. One picture at a time, remembering every occasion like it was yesterday. The first time we said “I love you,” the day I moved into my first apartment, the night we drove across Oklahoma looking at Christmas lights, and the night of my birthday. The list goes on but I’ll stop re-living these pictures there. As I was looking at these pictures there seemed to be a common theme: I was so happy, so in love, and so glad to have found my best friend. (Those are the best type of relationships, when your boyfriend is also your best friend)
A few things came to mind after I put the photos down…

1. You’re an idiot, why did you push him away?
2. Get it together, these pictures are from forever ago
3. I want that best friend/boyfriend type of relationship again.

I was also reminded of a quote, “you’ll never forget your first love, you can move on, fall in love again, but you’ll still never forget it.” And that is so true but I also had to remind myself that you’re first love isn’t always your last.
Now, you’re probably reading this thinking that I’ve lost my mind, which is very possible but I guess what I wanted to say is this:
Nurture the relationship you’re in, take care of it, and let it grow. I see so many couples treating each other so carelessly just going through the motions. I also see couples who seem to not be a good match but they’re too scared to be alone so they stay in a so-so, comfortable relationship.

My grandma always told me that everything works out how it should even if it seems impossible or hurts really bad. It’s a process she’d say, be patient, you’ll get your Prince Charming.
For now I’ll continue to be patient waiting for Prince Charming knowing it will happen when I least expect it.

I’m also hoping that doesn’t come in the form of a text message. (I’m so over texting)