All I wanna do is boom, boom, boom, boom

Life is smooth sailing. If you know me at all, you're understanding the sarcasm in that statement. I have been known to have the worst luck ever. I woke up this morning at 7:00am with a puppy that wanted to go outside, I got up, put on my jacket, and proceeded into the bitter cold. After finishing his business, Hendrix and I came back inside and went back to bed. While I was sleeping, I was having a dream about the perfect house I'm going to buy, everything about it was exactly what I wanted. My dream is suddenly disturbed by a gagging sound, followed by me waking up to Hendrix getting sick. After this continues for about 10 minutes, I decided it was time to load him into the car and go to the vet. We put on our coats and head to the car. I get in my car, turn it on, turn on the defroster, and turn to track 8 on the new Coldplay CD. I put the car in reverse, look behind me to back up, and realize.....HOLY SHIT, my back window is completely shattered. As I continue looking, I also realize there is a bullet hole all the way through the window. I put the car in park, feel a panic attack coming, grab Hendrix and run back into my apartment. I call the police, they file a report, and act like this is no big deal. I'm pissed that nobody seems to give a damn about my safety so I begin ranting to myself. I call my insurance agent, he tells me to get some estimates, and to call him tomorrow. Now what I would like to mention here is that not once has anybody mentioned what to do when the glass shatters out. I am hoping this doesn't happen but there are no guarantees. With my luck, we should assume for the worse.
I call my friend, we'll call her Skittles, and she starts to panic so we decide to go to lunch. Where should we go? BJ's, duh. As we're talking, I told her the entire story, and then proceed to tell her about the retarded situation I got myself into last Monday. After finishing the story we concluded that my back window got shot out because I was trying to be cool like the girls from McNellies and I started to wear my bandana around everywhere. Apparently, they didn't appreciate that I wanted to be like them so much so they came to teach me a lesson.
SO... what I haver learned today is that Ghetto is the new black. Sweatpants, Hoodies, and Bandanas are the new style, and thug is what I'm lovin' for awhile.